I am excited about my “new” interests and path but every step towards progress feels so small because there is just so much to learn  or so much I feel I need to learn to see achieve my goals.

Sometimes I do think, “maybe I am in over my head” and these are thoughts that I’ve let slow me down for the past 15 years. When I was first introduced to web design as a teenager, I convinced myself I didn’t have the design talent or acumen to make it so I pulled back. I felt like design was a thing for “chosen” people, not something you learned by completing tutorials and consistent practice. Why would I do that? Fear of failure I suppose. Doubt makes it difficult for you to see past current obstacles that are actually surmountable.

I came across this post called, “Learning to Code: When It Gets Dark”,  a few weeks ago and bookmarked it and decided to revisit it. I’m at the point where I know that it would be easy to stop what I’m doing and just settle, but I don’t want to. I’m dealing with a lot of stress, life shit – you know making sure I’ll be able to make rent and this new transition is an added layer of stress. I’m not sure where to focus the bulk of my energies. Even though I know I’m sort of a fast learner given the amount of information I’ve immersed myself in over the last month and how much I’m also truly comprehending it, it still feels like so much.  The author of that post outlined some strategies for dealing with this and you should definitely give it a read.

One quote that resonated with me was,  “it is easy to scare yourself into believing that there is a metaphorical Grand Canyon between you and professional developers.” I know for a fact that I underestimate how much I already know. My issue is that I need to show what I know. Same principles that applied to writing (English major – Magna Cum Laude) – show, not tell. So now I’m kind of struggling to figure out what to show and how much to show and what I need to learn in addition to what I already know, and how much of that is sufficient.  It’s a vicious cycle.

The biggest takeaway for me was to set a goal.

“You need a goal to work towards. Once you have that goal, it will be harder to stop, as opposed to a situation where you are dabbling with code, or learning without a specific, well-defined goal.”

That might be true and that might be why I haven’t quit, considering my situation, it’s doubly important that I get a job and one that I actually like. What I’m doing now satisfies one goal so I need to find a way to satisfy the other.

I’m in the process of clarifying my goals and developing a sufficient action plan, hopefully I’ll have the balls to write it out in a future blog post.

I also watched this video last week which highlighted what you need to learn new skills and kind of worked around that whole 10,000 hours concept that is scaring the shit out people who want to learn new things.

2 comments on “There is so much to learn…

  1. I’ve been there. It’s hard to be confident when you have high expectations of yourself and you feel like you’re not meeting them. But you’ve done a lot more than what you give yourself credit for. Keep at it!

    1. thank you! i’ve been following your 100 days of code and your most recent post outlining everything you’ve covered was very informative. i’m planning to follow a similar track over the next few months and hopefully land a job 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *